Alligator Songs

I live in Florida.

And, I’m a mom. In Florida.

I’m also neurotic.

Oh, and I’m a New York transplant. So, I’m a non-native, neurotic, Florida mom.

In our great state of Walt Disney, endless summer weather and beaches galore, we also have a plethora of undesirables hiding in every inch of our sun-kissed surface.

Florida is the leading habitat for venomous snakes, alligators, sharks and non-venomous-but-how-would-you-know-so-you-should-still-kill-it-to-be-safe snakes.

So, as a mom, I’m caught between two hard places. I encourage my boys to play outside while then terrifying them with tales off the Rattlesnake monster. In my mind, I’m scaring them into being vigilant. After all, coming into contact with a snake or an alligator is not an uncommon event.

Example #1 Some time in 2008: An alligator tries to eat my dog.

Example #2 Some time in 2011: An alligator succeeds in eating my dog.

Example #3. Easter day, 2016- my next door neighbor’s daughter comes over yelling that her dad needs help getting the rattlesnake out of the garage. It took my husband, his brothers, my uncle and the neighbor to trap this thing. It was eighteen feet long.

Example #4 Summer yard work, 2017: Hubby digs hold to plant tree. Mocassin jumps out and strikes at him. Husband is fine. I want to move.

Example #5 Shelter in the storm, 2019: While running into the garage during a flash Florida lighting storm, my husband aggressively pushes me forward. I turned to tell him that that was a very big overreaction to a daily storm occurence when he points to the Cotton mouth, previously less than 6 inches from me (good shove, honey!) arched back and ready to devour.

Example #6 LITERALLY TWO DAYS AFTER #5: A coral snake, underneath my sliding glass door, IN MY HOUSE.

And let's not forget the countless stories of people finding snakes in their pools, in their cars, or even in their homes. These encounters are not uncommon in Florida, and they only add to my neurotic tendencies.

Recently, my son had decided to play some music in the backyard to "sing the alligator to sleep." Do alligators sleep? And, I mean, who knows what kind of music they even like?

My neurotic tendencies kicked in. We had a fence, but really, what protection does that offer? Also, there was no actual gator in sight…but there could be and had been in the past. As my son continued to play his music, I started to become more and more anxious. So I quickly put an end to the impromptu alligator concert and got my son out of there. We retreated to the safety of our porch, where we could still play alligator songs from a safe distance.

So, to all my fellow non-native, neurotic Florida moms out there, let's remember to embrace the magic and wonder of this beautiful state - but also keep our eyes peeled for any slithering, swimming, or floating creatures that may be lurking in our backyards. Because in Florida, you never know what kind of wildlife you might encounter - or what kind of lullabies they might prefer.